Infidelity
can be easily explained as a violation of a couple's assumed or stated contract
regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity.
Infidelity, which is the
action of being unfaithful to a spouse, is relatively as old as marriage
itself.
In the past, people used
to assume men have an irreversible reputation for being unfaithful, but studies
have shown that women also cheat on their husbands just as much.
However, the difference, according to studies, is that
women are more discreet when they cheat while men on the other hand boast about
it. Some men even have the belief it elevates their status.
The damage infidelity wreaks in homes can be huge. It’s
seen as betrayal of trust, but findings have also shown that the act is not
always deliberate, which makes such persons to feel guilty when caught, mainly
because it could have been avoided. This is even more important as it has been
established that men hardly forgive their cheating spouse.
Here are tips to help couples overcome the temptation
of cheating:
BE OPEN: People
who are genuinely not interested in extramarital affairs, experts say when they
start liking someone of the opposite sex, or when someone of the opposite sex
starts getting too close or sending questionable signals, they inform their
spouse about it. This step naturally puts you in check. It makes your spouse to
keep asking you about the person in question and also gives you advise on what
to do at any point in time, the issues seizes to be a private issue. Openness
is very important in a relationship, never you wait for your spouse to find out
him/herself. Confiding in a partner that there is such possibility lurking
around the corner might be a difficult strategy, but it helps. Your partner may
be hurt, of course, but hopefully he or she will also be grateful that you felt
comfortable enough to open up about it rather than doing something that
the relationship could not survive.”
KEEPING AWAY FROM THE INDIVIDUAL: One
other key way to stay faithful to a partner is to avoid the source of the
temptation (the individual). Constant contact with the individual would likely
increase the pressure on the person, which is usually natural. Once you realize
you have a soft spot for someone of the opposite sex, the best thing is to keep
away as much as possible from that individual. Reduce communication via texting
and calling, and if possible, stop entirely.
THINK OF THE CONSEQUENCE: It’s
advisable to think about the consequences of cheating when the temptation
starts lurking. This is an act which bridges trust. Given the common saying
that betrayal of trust is hard to repair, perhaps one good way married persons
can overcome temptation to cheat on their spouse is the harm it could do to
their partner, the relationship, their children, image, and sexual health. One
can contract sexually transmitted infections by cheating, in some cases, it
could result in an unwanted pregnancy and even a child. Some who are pushed too
hard and they succumb at times say “this time will be the only time, or the
last time”. This is unlikely majority of the time. Consider that if you give in
to temptation this time, you are more likely to give in the next time, and before
you know it, you’ve established a pattern. But if you anticipate that pattern
from the beginning, and realize how bad the consequences of it will be, you
will be more likely to stop it before it starts.”
SHARE WITH A TRUSTED FRIEND/PERSON: Findings
have shown that talking to a friend, counselor, religious leader, or anyone who
knows better could help. This is because they could have passed through such or
they could know a better way to deal with it, and this should be done before
‘anything’ happens and not after, because once it has happened before, it might
happen again. Also giving the person updates on improvements could also help. Social
support and pressure, whether from friends or strangers, can be enormously
helpful in fighting temptation.
BE SINCERE TO YOUR PARTNER IF ANYTHING
HAPPENS: This step is actually a hard step
to take, especially with the usual feeling that such things are better kept in
the secret. But, according to experts, this could be dangerous, because not
only would it give the person the freedom to do it again, since no one found
out about the last one, but also that it would be more difficult to deal with
if the partner finds out on their own. The best thing is to confide in your partner,
instead of hiding it, because the more you hide it and if he or she is the type
that wants to blackmail you, once that person realizes you are hiding it, the
person might keep pressurizing you for more. But if your partner is aware, they
might no longer have an edge over you for blackmail.
MEET IN THE OPEN: Beyond
avoiding the person, people who are having soft spot for an opposite sex are
also advised not to meet with them in lonely places. If the person in question
is a business partner whom you must meet or must be meeting regularly, the rendezvous
should be fixed in a public place. Also, it’s advised you meet him/her with the
company of your partner, this helps to deter the person from acting up and portraying
actions that could lead to cheating. If there is a possible way to avoid
meetings with the person entirely, it’s the best option.
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